March Madness Maniac Gifts

'I just wish that meant getting ready for the prom instead of the NCAA basketball tournament.'

'My feet are killing me.'

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Three Ladies

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

100k Desert Crawl

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'We come in peace. Unless, of course, you have stuff that we want.'

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

"Wow! - Do all Earth people look as tasty as YOU do?"

Runner's High, Runner's Low

A tessellation of running figures.

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

Love Hurts

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

"Rum and coke...why, what do you drink on a fun run?"

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."

The Fun Run.

Lox Ness Monster

'Ok, so you smelled gas and then you ... wait a minute! You're a family of opossums?'

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

'I know it looks big, but it'll shrink when I wash it.'