March Maniacs Gifts

Forget about the college basketball tourney, endless drilling in 100-degree summer heat is the real "march madness."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'My feet are killing me.'

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

100k Desert Crawl

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

'I just wish that meant getting ready for the prom instead of the NCAA basketball tournament.'

Bring flag factories back to America.

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

'Good news, it's not mad cow...it's March madness.'

A tessellation of running figures.

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

Primate Speech Institute. He's learned to talk, but all he'll talk about is the price of bananas.

Runner's High, Runner's Low

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

"Rum and coke...why, what do you drink on a fun run?"

"You'll do laundry, you'll drink water...oh, and what's this? In the near future you'll clip your fingernails."

The Fun Run.

'Ok, so you smelled gas and then you ... wait a minute! You're a family of opossums?'

Zoo. Marsupials. What's the difference between a possum and an opossum? The opossum is an Irish possum.

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

It's unlikely the "Deadly Sins" team from Hades University will go far in the basketball tourney. Wrath is suspended for arguing with the refs and sloth always skips practice. Pride puts too much pressure on himself and greed won't risk an injury that would blow his chances for a pro contract. Lust is distracted by the cheerleaders and Envy wants the shots all the other players are getting. Gluttony is the only player thriving in the tournament spotlight. Yeah, he just eats up all the atten

'Jogger's nipple'

Pit Stop for Track and Field

It's the start of March Madness basketball and this game is tied with seconds to go! I wonder who the hero will be? The nucleus is playing center, but he's been stopped by the defense of the bad cholesterol, who's clogging up the middle! The flu vaccine is the leading scorer. He never passes up a shot! Now the double-x chromosomes are asking the coach to put him in. Of course, the biological clock is running out!

Running With Scissors Marathon

"Gerald is retired, but during March Madness, he goes back to the office to play the college hoops sports pools."