Marathon Maniac Gifts

'Congratulations on smashing the marathon world record! What would you say was the secret to your success?'

100k Desert Crawl

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'Jogger's nipple'

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

"Rum and coke...why, what do you drink on a fun run?"

'We're willing to offer you $50,000 if you'll run in the Boston Marathon wearing a shirt that reads 'Heart-Co pacemakers are number one!'

Pit Stop for Track and Field

"A vegan and a jogger. Remember, living too long can kill you."

Porcupines finally discover something to do besides just waddling around.

'I'm sorry you got disqualified from the marathon dear.' 'That's OK. I just wish they clearly stated the rules to you before you entered...that way nobody ends up making a fool of themselves.'

'My feet are killing me.'

Runner's High, Runner's Low

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Shin splints. Next 5 miles.

Covid Race

Running With Scissors Marathon

"They say jogging is the top sport today..."

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

Mobile bleachers

'On your marks, get set, schmo. On your marks, get set, joe. On your marks, get set...'

Dance marathon.

The Fun Run.

'No. I thought it was the marathon, but it's just a fast moving queue.'

"I've decided to enter the London marathon next year...it gives me a chance to use my management skills, planning, target setting."

"Venti, double caramel, triple cinnamon-spiced, dark chocolate, mocha latte. Your order is ready."

A tessellation of running figures.

Sports Agency. In my work as a sports agent, I told this athlete she needs to improve if she wants to be well-known. Ironically, in diving you become famous by not making a splash! I got this marathon competitor a sponsorship so he can focus on training. He's going to take the money and run! This sprinter will earn a bonus if he sets a record. Oh, going after some fast money! And I made this guy agree to give me an extra slice of his pay if I negotiated a great contract for him which I di

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Eighteen

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"I witnessed something I can never unsee." "What happened, little buddy?" "Some guy walking out of the 'Wolverine' premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show." "A bunch of the fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him." "I don't think I can ever unsee five Pyros and a Colossus beating a Happy Hogan with plastic flamethrowers." "Happy Hogan had it coming."

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'