Marathon Maniac Gifts

'Congratulations on smashing the marathon world record! What would you say was the secret to your success?'

100k Desert Crawl

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'Jogger's nipple'

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

"Rum and coke...why, what do you drink on a fun run?"

Pit Stop for Track and Field

"A vegan and a jogger. Remember, living too long can kill you."

Porcupines finally discover something to do besides just waddling around.

'I'm sorry you got disqualified from the marathon dear.' 'That's OK. I just wish they clearly stated the rules to you before you entered...that way nobody ends up making a fool of themselves.'

'My feet are killing me.'

Runner's High, Runner's Low

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Shin splints. Next 5 miles.

Covid Race

Running With Scissors Marathon

"They say jogging is the top sport today..."

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

Mobile bleachers

'On your marks, get set, schmo. On your marks, get set, joe. On your marks, get set...'

Dance marathon.

The Fun Run.

'No. I thought it was the marathon, but it's just a fast moving queue.'

"I've decided to enter the London marathon next year...it gives me a chance to use my management skills, planning, target setting."

A tessellation of running figures.

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"I witnessed something I can never unsee." "What happened, little buddy?" "Some guy walking out of the 'Wolverine' premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show." "A bunch of the fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him." "I don't think I can ever unsee five Pyros and a Colossus beating a Happy Hogan with plastic flamethrowers." "Happy Hogan had it coming."

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

'We come in peace. Unless, of course, you have stuff that we want.'

"Don't be an idiot, Larry."

"The majestic way they climb higher and higher until they seem to kiss the sky reminds me of the huge pile of work I have waiting for me when I get back."