March Madness Maven Gifts

"The doctor says you have an acute case of march Madness. Here's your bill."

"Don't even bother – we missed the deadline to finish our March Madness brackets again."

Jack of all trades

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Your Guide to Winning Movember

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'I just wish that meant getting ready for the prom instead of the NCAA basketball tournament.'

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

Bleak House

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

Psychic Research Unit.

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

"You’ll meet a beautiful woman whom your mother will loathe."

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

"And now, with the projected sales figures..."

'You can't win -- I turned the water into wine, and then everybody wanted free refills!'

"Gerald is retired, but during March Madness, he goes back to the office to play the college hoops sports pools."

Reading the Leaves.

"Once we get the performance figures in we give them to Mrs Miggins and her magic cauldron to make sense of them!"