March Madness Maven Gifts

"The doctor says you have an acute case of march Madness. Here's your bill."

"Don't even bother – we missed the deadline to finish our March Madness brackets again."

Jack of all trades

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'

Your Guide to Winning Movember

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

'I just wish that meant getting ready for the prom instead of the NCAA basketball tournament.'

'Good news, it's not mad cow...it's March madness.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

Bleak House

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

It's unlikely the "Deadly Sins" team from Hades University will go far in the basketball tourney. Wrath is suspended for arguing with the refs and sloth always skips practice. Pride puts too much pressure on himself and greed won't risk an injury that would blow his chances for a pro contract. Lust is distracted by the cheerleaders and Envy wants the shots all the other players are getting. Gluttony is the only player thriving in the tournament spotlight. Yeah, he just eats up all the atten

Sharon's more of a do-it-yourselfer.

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

Psychic Research Unit.

"You’ll meet a beautiful woman whom your mother will loathe."

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

'You can't win -- I turned the water into wine, and then everybody wanted free refills!'

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

"And now, with the projected sales figures..."

"Gerald is retired, but during March Madness, he goes back to the office to play the college hoops sports pools."