Macabre Maven Gifts

'Not everyone is cut out for this business but it's a living.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

Life is ghoul

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

C Day Lewis.

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

'It's had the best reviews I've ever written.'

'I've added this up six times and still can't get it to balance!'

"A restaurant critic! I hope she doesn't make this place sound too good."

Doubling Gloucester Cheeses

Psychic Research Unit.

Whodunits

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

"You’ll meet a beautiful woman whom your mother will loathe."

Trilby - 'The Moon-dial'.

An empty 'crime' section in a bookhop

'I'll accept that excuse for now, but you need to have a brain by Monday.'

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

'You can't win -- I turned the water into wine, and then everybody wanted free refills!'

"And now, with the projected sales figures..."

CIA - Incognito/Outcognito.

"How would I know how long he'll be? I'm not the psychic!"

Reading the Leaves.

"Come on, we're late. Your crosshatching looks fine."

When psychics fight.

Workplace 17 Days Without An Accident