Macabre Maven Pillows

'Not everyone is cut out for this business but it's a living.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

Life is ghoul

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

'It's had the best reviews I've ever written.'

'I've added this up six times and still can't get it to balance!'

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

"A restaurant critic! I hope she doesn't make this place sound too good."

"You’ll meet a beautiful woman whom your mother will loathe."

Trilby - 'The Moon-dial'.

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

Whodunits

Psychic Research Unit.

Doubling Gloucester Cheeses

'I'll accept that excuse for now, but you need to have a brain by Monday.'

An empty 'crime' section in a bookhop

'You can't win -- I turned the water into wine, and then everybody wanted free refills!'

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

"And now, with the projected sales figures..."

CIA - Incognito/Outcognito.

Workplace 17 Days Without An Accident

"If I'm going to spend any time in here you need to do something about your dandruff!"

"How would I know how long he'll be? I'm not the psychic!"

"Come on, we're late. Your crosshatching looks fine."

"And then they came out with a desktop model."

Reading the Leaves.