Mall Malaise Gifts

'I hate school shopping! I hate school shopping! I hate. . . School shopping probably won't kill me. . . school shopping probably won't kill me.'

High security Santa's grotto

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

Pirates at the mall.

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

Mall: "We always hold hands - If I let go, she shops."

"While we do appreciate your diligence... It's not the store's policy to shoot shoplifters!"

Sally and her fashionista friends get to me. Save our mall! Ignore them! Let's take your mind off them. Don't even think it! I know. Going shopping would be wring. Does ordering online count.

Americana Mall

Just think! If the mall goes bust, what happens to all that paved-over land? Save our mall. We could roll up the asphalt and start a huge nature preserve. What about current wildlife? Hmm�You're right. I don't think the endangered species act covers mall rats.

'Your operation is delayed for a couple of hours... there's a big sale at the mall down the street and all the nurses are down there.'

"My religion? I'm a consumerist, first reformed midwest synod. We pray facing the Mall of America."

Well, look who's here.

What's this about? The recession is devastating chain stores. Save our mall. They're the lifeblood of teen culture as we know it. What are your solutions? We're having a massive shop-in this Saturday! Shop 'til you drop. Big $$. Like a day of service? Exactly! But you'll feel even better about yourself.

Why men hate shopping.

"excuse me...what town am i in..?"

"I have decided to go on holiday this year and would therefore like to hire one million santas for December 25th."

New Mall

'Please, no more meetings! I'm being ad-hoced to death!'

'I'm going to need backup on two. 'The situation' is escalating.'

'I just love the holidays. It's such a happy time of year!'

'Philip was cute this morning. He said money's tight and I should only buy what I need.'

"I can't believe we're doing this."

"It's stuck in overdrive. What should I do?"

Mall. Clothing. Women Men Children. A retail clothing franchise had their computers hacked by invasive programs. Malware strikes mall wear.

"Here we will build our mall."