Mall Mate Gifts

Watching shopping channel - "Why do you always drag me along when you go shopping?"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

Pirates at the mall.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'It's your round.'

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

Mall 'maze' directory bewilders shopper.

"Singing makes me self-conscious."

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

Signs you may be friends with a sheep....

'Hey, scratch my back and I'll scratch your back.'

'This plumber you recommended...mate of yours, is he?'

It's good to get together with friends!

"...and if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"

Australian stress counselling.

Mall: "We always hold hands - If I let go, she shops."

'Your operation is delayed for a couple of hours... there's a big sale at the mall down the street and all the nurses are down there.'

Welcome to the real world. What just happened? Where am I? The Mall. The Mall. We've been shopping – in person. Not the kind of shopping where you order things on your phone and have them sent to your house. this is the jungle! And you didn't last five minutes! You were laid out by some geezer hustling to the grocery section to get a special deal on prune juice! E-commerce has made you soft! I've got a scratch on my iPhone.

"While we do appreciate your diligence... It's not the store's policy to shoot shoplifters!"

Pub Quiz

Just think! If the mall goes bust, what happens to all that paved-over land? Save our mall. We could roll up the asphalt and start a huge nature preserve. What about current wildlife? Hmm�You're right. I don't think the endangered species act covers mall rats.

Two Old Boys

"Hey Cruz, check out my super-powered speaker system!"

Americana Mall

Sally and her fashionista friends get to me. Save our mall! Ignore them! Let's take your mind off them. Don't even think it! I know. Going shopping would be wring. Does ordering online count.

"My religion? I'm a consumerist, first reformed midwest synod. We pray facing the Mall of America."

New Mall

Spiro & Pusho go hunting.

What's this about? The recession is devastating chain stores. Save our mall. They're the lifeblood of teen culture as we know it. What are your solutions? We're having a massive shop-in this Saturday! Shop 'til you drop. Big $$. Like a day of service? Exactly! But you'll feel even better about yourself.