Mall Lovers Gifts

"Poor Valerie is really depressed. She's lost the will to shop."

High security Santa's grotto

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

Customer Convention

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

Larry's Literary Market

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

Island of Lost Guys.

"This planet doesn't stand a chance."

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'Cool, a wheel. Now you can take me shopping.'

Man sees where he's at and he's 'Where It's Not At'

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."

Mall: "We always hold hands - If I let go, she shops."

Man Selling Bric-a-Brac in the Street

'Your operation is delayed for a couple of hours... there's a big sale at the mall down the street and all the nurses are down there.'

Sally and her fashionista friends get to me. Save our mall! Ignore them! Let's take your mind off them. Don't even think it! I know. Going shopping would be wring. Does ordering online count.

"If you like what I had to say, be sure to go online and buy some of my merch."

Hunter-Gatherers, North America, Late 20th Century

Americana Mall