Mall Lover Gifts

Central Mall - If you shopped here you would be consuming by now.

'You wouldn't catch George & I purchasing off the internet. We much prefer the hustle & bustle of real shopping.'

New Mall

High security Santa's grotto

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"I shop, therefore I am."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

Larry's Literary Market

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

"This planet doesn't stand a chance."

"Which one's yours?"

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

Spider boy

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

"What's a copper nitrate...?"

'There's more than one kind of deficit.'

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'Cool, a wheel. Now you can take me shopping.'

Man sees where he's at and he's 'Where It's Not At'

Friday night was always sext night.

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."

Modern Charm

Mall: "We always hold hands - If I let go, she shops."

'Tell the doctor I'll be with him in another page and a half.'

"If you like what I had to say, be sure to go online and buy some of my merch."