Mall Nostalgia Appreciators Gifts

ISIS threatened to attack the Mall of America. That's so 1990s. What? Most people don't shop in malls anymore. Most of us shop online from home or from our phones. Someone should tell them the shopper-threatening business just isn't what it used to be. You're not taking them seriously enough. Wake me when they figure out how to send hordes of miniaturized men into my iPhone.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Before the Internet

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

'Bring out yer books!'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

'Jerry's 'old school'.'

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

Fun (circa 1955)

'New Game'

Why Do Old Hippies Smile?

'Thirty years from now, this will seem terribly quaint and awash in charming period detail.'

"I'm thinking of getting the old band back together."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

Three kids in a trench coat, twenty years later.

"When I was a puppy, I barked as a puppy, I understood as a puppy, I thought as a puppy. But when I became a dog, I put away puppy things except for my shabby, old, beat-up stuffy toy. I still freaking love this thing."

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

Back in my day, we were drawn with ink on paper, not on some fancy digital pad, but at least we knew we existed.