Mall Warrior Gifts

"O.K., one at a time, step forward and say, 'That's it, lady - you've blocked your last escalator.' "

Welcome to the real world. What just happened? Where am I? The Mall. The Mall. We've been shopping – in person. Not the kind of shopping where you order things on your phone and have them sent to your house. this is the jungle! And you didn't last five minutes! You were laid out by some geezer hustling to the grocery section to get a special deal on prune juice! E-commerce has made you soft! I've got a scratch on my iPhone.

You Are Here

"Don't go back to the mall untill after the holidays."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

Changing Room Decisions

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

Gym. Weight Room. This must be sculpting my body --- All my muscles feel like putty.

"This planet doesn't stand a chance."

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

'My cellulite is getting stronger.'

Gym. Do you feel the burn? Do rashes count?

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

"I've accepted that I'm getting richer."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"All those years of dodging taxes and chasing investment yield have kept me in top shape, right?"

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."