Mall Walker Gifts

Look, honey! I've been shopping off-line!

"It's a beautiful day outside! Let's go to the outlets and do a few laps around the mall!"

'You realize, the idea is to walk the entire mall, not just the food court.'

"Walking the food court instead of the entire mall was a great idea."

"My name is Richard and it's been 4 weeks since my local mall closed up..."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"I shop, therefore I am."

"A little help, please."

Misunderstood artist

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

"This planet doesn't stand a chance."

Customer Convention

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

Island of Lost Guys.

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

You are Here. We know where you've been.

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

Mall of ages

'There's more than one kind of deficit.'

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

Mall 'maze' directory bewilders shopper.