Mall Walker Gifts

Look, honey! I've been shopping off-line!

"It's a beautiful day outside! Let's go to the outlets and do a few laps around the mall!"

'You realize, the idea is to walk the entire mall, not just the food court.'

"Walking the food court instead of the entire mall was a great idea."

"My name is Richard and it's been 4 weeks since my local mall closed up..."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"A little help, please."

Misunderstood artist

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

Island of Lost Guys.

Customer Convention

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

"This planet doesn't stand a chance."

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

You are Here. We know where you've been.

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

'Would you stop with the Twitter alerts already? I'm standing right behind you.'

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

'There's more than one kind of deficit.'

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."