Mall Strolling Gifts

Missing Person: Last seen shopping

'No. She's never here during mall-hours.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

A man walks his dog with the leash attached to the dog's shadow instead of the dog.

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

Island of Lost Guys.

Customer Convention

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

"This planet doesn't stand a chance."

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

You are Here. We know where you've been.

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

Mall 'maze' directory bewilders shopper.

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

Mall of ages

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

'Would you stop with the Twitter alerts already? I'm standing right behind you.'

Man sees where he's at and he's 'Where It's Not At'