Mall Visiting Gifts

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

Island of Lost Guys.

Customer Convention

"This planet doesn't stand a chance."

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

You are Here. We know where you've been.

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

'Would you stop with the Twitter alerts already? I'm standing right behind you.'

Mall 'maze' directory bewilders shopper.

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

Mall of ages

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."

Man sees where he's at and he's 'Where It's Not At'

"Now hold on just a minute! Salad - fine! Chick flix - fine! But I draw the line on video games!"

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."

'That's not the northern lights! It's new strip mall!'