Mall Walking Gifts

'...You can lead a man to the mall, but you can't make him shop.'

"The bank wanted to verify your purchase because it's the kind of outfit you obviously can't pull off."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"I shop, therefore I am."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"This planet doesn't stand a chance."

Customer Convention

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

Island of Lost Guys.

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

You are Here. We know where you've been.

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

Mall of ages

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."

Mall 'maze' directory bewilders shopper.

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

Man sees where he's at and he's 'Where It's Not At'

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."