Mall Going Gifts

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

"Sitting here doing nothing is boring."

High security Santa's grotto

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

Pirates at the mall.

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

Mall: "We always hold hands - If I let go, she shops."

'Do you have a pet store in this mall?' 'Oh, no! I like them all!'

'You're the first person to ask for a shopping hour in addition to a lunch hour.'

'Your operation is delayed for a couple of hours... there's a big sale at the mall down the street and all the nurses are down there.'

"My religion? I'm a consumerist, first reformed midwest synod. We pray facing the Mall of America."

'Everything must go...manners included!'

New Mall

'I'm going to need backup on two. 'The situation' is escalating.'

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

'We're conducting a shopper-flow study for the new giant Oakdale mall.'

"I have decided to go on holiday this year and would therefore like to hire one million santas for December 25th."

"excuse me...what town am i in..?"

'I just love the holidays. It's such a happy time of year!'

'Philip was cute this morning. He said money's tight and I should only buy what I need.'

"I can't believe we're doing this."

Missing Person: Last seen shopping

"Here we will build our mall."