Mall Going Mugs

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

"Sitting here doing nothing is boring."

"It's stuck in overdrive. What should I do?"

High security Santa's grotto

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

Pirates at the mall.

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

Mall: "We always hold hands - If I let go, she shops."

Sally and her fashionista friends get to me. Save our mall! Ignore them! Let's take your mind off them. Don't even think it! I know. Going shopping would be wring. Does ordering online count.

Americana Mall

'Do you have a pet store in this mall?' 'Oh, no! I like them all!'

'Your operation is delayed for a couple of hours... there's a big sale at the mall down the street and all the nurses are down there.'

'You're the first person to ask for a shopping hour in addition to a lunch hour.'

Just think! If the mall goes bust, what happens to all that paved-over land? Save our mall. We could roll up the asphalt and start a huge nature preserve. What about current wildlife? Hmm�You're right. I don't think the endangered species act covers mall rats.

"My religion? I'm a consumerist, first reformed midwest synod. We pray facing the Mall of America."

'Everything must go...manners included!'

What's this about? The recession is devastating chain stores. Save our mall. They're the lifeblood of teen culture as we know it. What are your solutions? We're having a massive shop-in this Saturday! Shop 'til you drop. Big $$. Like a day of service? Exactly! But you'll feel even better about yourself.

'I'm going to need backup on two. 'The situation' is escalating.'

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

New Mall

"I have decided to go on holiday this year and would therefore like to hire one million santas for December 25th."

"excuse me...what town am i in..?"

'We're conducting a shopper-flow study for the new giant Oakdale mall.'

'I just love the holidays. It's such a happy time of year!'

Missing Person: Last seen shopping

"I can't believe we're doing this."