Mall Hopping Gifts

'We'd like to tour the great malls of China!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

Today's special... donuts.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"I shop, therefore I am."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

The Rise of Modern Art

I wish I'd had the review.

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Your meal sounded nice."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

"This planet doesn't stand a chance."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

Customer Convention

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

Haute Chinese

'Whatever he's eating.'

Island of Lost Guys.

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.