Mall Warrior T-Shirts

"O.K., one at a time, step forward and say, 'That's it, lady - you've blocked your last escalator.' "

You Are Here

"Don't go back to the mall untill after the holidays."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"I shop, therefore I am."

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

Changing Room Decisions

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

"This planet doesn't stand a chance."

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

'My cellulite is getting stronger.'

"All those years of dodging taxes and chasing investment yield have kept me in top shape, right?"

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

"I've accepted that I'm getting richer."

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in school.'

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

'There's more than one kind of deficit.'

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

The rich, the poor and the terrorist...