Mall Culture Gifts

Central Mall - If you shopped here you would be consuming by now.

Sally and her fashionista friends get to me. Save our mall! Ignore them! Let's take your mind off them. Don't even think it! I know. Going shopping would be wring. Does ordering online count.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

Pirates at the mall.

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

"This planet doesn't stand a chance."

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

'There's more than one kind of deficit.'

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."

Man sees where he's at and he's 'Where It's Not At'

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

Mall: "We always hold hands - If I let go, she shops."

'Do you have a pet store in this mall?' 'Oh, no! I like them all!'

Just think! If the mall goes bust, what happens to all that paved-over land? Save our mall. We could roll up the asphalt and start a huge nature preserve. What about current wildlife? Hmm�You're right. I don't think the endangered species act covers mall rats.

'You're the first person to ask for a shopping hour in addition to a lunch hour.'

Americana Mall

'Your operation is delayed for a couple of hours... there's a big sale at the mall down the street and all the nurses are down there.'

Hunter-Gatherers, North America, Late 20th Century

"My religion? I'm a consumerist, first reformed midwest synod. We pray facing the Mall of America."

What's this about? The recession is devastating chain stores. Save our mall. They're the lifeblood of teen culture as we know it. What are your solutions? We're having a massive shop-in this Saturday! Shop 'til you drop. Big $$. Like a day of service? Exactly! But you'll feel even better about yourself.