Luddite Dad Gifts

"My four-year-old son usually helps me, but he's at his grandparents' home."

"Dammit all, haven't they heard of e-mail?"

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

"It's another e-mail from your folks. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell them about the Web."

Pregnant man: 'My water just broke! False alarm. Just spilled my brewski.'

Pensioners and Phones

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

'Word came from on high that managers had to develop their IT skills...'

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

'He was a great player...he gained 'many cap's' for his Country !'

"I've gone for a retro phone."

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

'Unfortunately illuminating the strike placards could take a few years.'

"Reboot? I've kicked it six times, but it still won't work?"

"Dad, I need some help - what's 4 x 4?"

Bob's Unexpected Father's Day Gift...

"Do you have any video games that would help reduce my role as a father?"

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

"Look mate, I keep rebooting and nothing happens!!"

'Want to watch the Father-Son talk greatest hits?'

"These caseloads are impossible I've got TWICE the number I should I can't be in two places at once!"

"We're going to have to erase your search history."

Mom & Pops General Store - Free Hi-Fi

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary : "I. P. Address - The answer to the question, "Where is the bathroom?"

"Apparently, you didn't learn your lesson when you tried cleaning your phone screen like that."

"Yoiks!"

An entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Digital Doppleganging: unplugging an inept player and letting them think they are playing while the computer really is.

"He says it was his dads first attempt at the school run today."

"The wonders of technology always keep me wondering."

Sponsored by the Flat Earth Society

"I bought something off the Internet, but I can't find it in my computer. Online shopping is overrated."

"In reply to your inquiry regarding the Burke garden hoe, please visit our Worldwide Web home page at: http://www.burke1903.com."

"We can accomodate food allergies, physical disablilities and learning disorders, but if your son is a technophobe, we have nothing for him."

Telephone being thrown from a window in frustration