Loves A Good Joke Pillows

'Do it! Do it!'

Happy Xmas

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

'Actually the only drawback to the place is the proximity to the prison.'

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

At the mobile tracking test lab.

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

Office Policy: Never Have More Than One Clown On A Team.

Pelobong

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

Scientist discover a new superbug

A parrot business meeting

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

A field goal kicker kicks his teamate instead of the ball through the goal posts.

"Thanks a bunch. I'll just run these by our committee and pass them along."

'You've definitely mastered it, Richard, but not every song is appropriate for the chicken dance.'

'I assume that's a rhetorical question.'

Apparently, there are manuals, and then there are MANUALS.

"You said to hire a face painter and I did! Bill is a mortician!"

'Life size enlargements done here.' - 'Do my pictures of the pyramids please.'

'Must have had bad weather at the Artist's Colony. All the claims start with 'It was a dark and stormy night.''

Please Wash Feet Before Returning To Work

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

"It's not as good a deal as it sounds - it's based on THEIR lifetime."

"I don't know about turning, but I was tossing all night."

"Carl has decided that, with the economy being the way it is, he's going to be a stay at home son."

Cloning departments

'I knew it! Come back here!'

"We'll get that infected tear duct fixed up in no time."

'Quiet! There's another one coming! Here, put this on your head and play possum.'

'And that's Doctor Jones, he used to be a Mechanic...!'

'The hamster ball is simple, effective and very economic.'