Loves A Good Joke Prints

'Do it! Do it!'

Happy Xmas

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

'Actually the only drawback to the place is the proximity to the prison.'

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

At the mobile tracking test lab.

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

Office Policy: Never Have More Than One Clown On A Team.

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.

Pelobong

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

"He, Igor? Who are we to play God with its gender pronouns?"

This is awkward, but I need to ask if you'd like to donate your body to science.

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

Scientist discover a new superbug

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

A field goal kicker kicks his teamate instead of the ball through the goal posts.

A parrot business meeting

"Thanks a bunch. I'll just run these by our committee and pass them along."

'You've definitely mastered it, Richard, but not every song is appropriate for the chicken dance.'

'I assume that's a rhetorical question.'

Apparently, there are manuals, and then there are MANUALS.

'Must have had bad weather at the Artist's Colony. All the claims start with 'It was a dark and stormy night.''

"You said to hire a face painter and I did! Bill is a mortician!"

'Life size enlargements done here.' - 'Do my pictures of the pyramids please.'

Please Wash Feet Before Returning To Work

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

"I don't know about turning, but I was tossing all night."

"It's not as good a deal as it sounds - it's based on THEIR lifetime."

"Carl has decided that, with the economy being the way it is, he's going to be a stay at home son."

'I knew it! Come back here!'

Cloning departments

'Quiet! There's another one coming! Here, put this on your head and play possum.'