Loves Quirky Humor Pillows

'The hamster ball is simple, effective and very economic.'

This is awkward, but I need to ask if you'd like to donate your body to science.

'What's on the evening menu that's good?'

'I really like these GM foods.'

"He, Igor? Who are we to play God with its gender pronouns?"

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"You left this on our ship."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"Fresh pepper?"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"Bless You."

Astral Projection

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

He wanted a different one.

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

'Can I have flies with that'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'