Love Life Analysts Gifts

'Find out if she would have like me if I hadn't asked so many people.'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

Crap from the future.

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

Modern Life Blues

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

Deconstructionist girlfriend

"Now give me something intimate to say."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

Lover's leap and Infatuation leap.

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"Very funny."

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"I gave up on finding Mr. Right and settled for Mr. Chocolate!"

"Honey, I'm home."

Two ATMs sit side by side; one is labeled "Cash" while the other is labeled "Power".

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

"I just feel like we're not connecting."

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

"I can't wait 'til we're so close we don't have to talk."