Love Life Analysts Gifts

'Find out if she would have like me if I hadn't asked so many people.'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

Crap from the future.

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

Modern Life Blues

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

Deconstructionist girlfriend

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

"Now give me something intimate to say."

"Very funny."

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

"I gave up on finding Mr. Right and settled for Mr. Chocolate!"

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'

"I just feel like we're not connecting."

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

Two ATMs sit side by side; one is labeled "Cash" while the other is labeled "Power".

"Honey, I'm home."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

"I can't wait 'til we're so close we don't have to talk."

'Short brown hair. Very cuddly, good in bed.'