Love Story Analyst Gifts

'Yes, it was love at first sight. Who would've thought that five years on, I'd be sick of the sight of him?!'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

A declaration - man tells a girl that she has stolen his heart.

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

Deconstructionist girlfriend

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'

"I gave up on finding Mr. Right and settled for Mr. Chocolate!"

The Giant Guardsman Chapters IX and x.

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

'I like reading romance novels: They always leave me with a warm feeling inside...'

'Love changes everything.'

They were made for each other. She was easy to look at; he had a lazy eye.

A woman reads a romance novel.

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

"Same story - boy becomes girl."

"Check this out - I think the guy behind us just got lucky!"

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"I hate her snoring, especially during sex."