Love Life Observer Gifts

It's a good bet that the person asking for a divorce has already fallen in love.

"Hey - you smell cute!. . ."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"It's his emotional support animal."

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

Life and Death

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"He was much more effective in the field."

"I need a more interactive you."

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

Maternity Hospital

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

Mice 25¢

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"Now give me something intimate to say."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"Your sister got another promotion."

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?