Love Life Observer Pillows

It's a good bet that the person asking for a divorce has already fallen in love.

"Hey - you smell cute!. . ."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"It's his emotional support animal."

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

Life and Death

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

"He was much more effective in the field."

"I need a more interactive you."

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

Maternity Hospital

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

Mice 25¢

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"Now give me something intimate to say."

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

"Your sister got another promotion."

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

"I just feel like we're not connecting."