Romantic Life Observer Gifts

Elizabeth Taylor and her Husbands.

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Life and Death

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"I need a more interactive you."

"He was much more effective in the field."

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

Maternity Hospital

Mice 25¢

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

Unmanned drones.

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

"Your sister got another promotion."

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

Old Yarns

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

I have a video phone and I'm not afraid to use it.

"If I could choose any age I'd be forty-two again. You were hot when I was forty-two."

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

"Better safe than sorry, son."

"Auto reply: I am dead and will have limited access to e-mail."

'I didn't know our relationship was SUPPOSED to be going anywhere.'

Blogging Shoes

"Believe me, Alice, you didn't miss a thing. It wasn't even a party—it was a positioning event."

Ten Commandments T-Shirt

'Did you click and send the contents of 'Irving' into the world wide web of humiliation?'