Online Relationship Observer Gifts

Another case of twisted kids using the Internet to exploit grown-ups.

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'Here's what she was reading - an articl called 'Parents can be fun'.'

'We should talk more.'

Unmanned drones.

'You were right. We should have gotten a lap dog.'

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

"You didn't post anything on social media today. So, the church sent someone over to witness miracle."

"Flippin' eck Mandy, don't your parents ever go to bed?"

"If I could choose any age I'd be forty-two again. You were hot when I was forty-two."

"If they say 'Rubensesque' in their profile, they mean they're a Botero."

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

'Frankly, don't bother fighting over me: I don't fancy either of you...'

"Believe me, Alice, you didn't miss a thing. It wasn't even a party—it was a positioning event."

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

"You're grinding your teeth again."

'He'd never invent anything if I didn't nag him.'

"He cares what everyone wants for Christmas except me!"

"I've been to all his weddings."

'We have to be careful, Miss McPherson -- I had to marry my last secretary.'

"It's 6 o'clock. Do you know what's trending now?"

'Yes, I need to move: I'm starting to have a reputation on the bachelor scene here...'

"Yes, dear. I see you."

"I love you." "I love you less."

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

"I could see my mating dance had caught her eye, so I put more energy into it, but I ended up sweaty and out of breath: she lost interest then. . ."

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

"You're not really into this, are you, Frank?"

'Looks like I was wrong. Apparently I can have more loathing for this era...'

'Don't touch it. That's my wife talking to me.'