Relationship Observers Gifts

Unmanned drones.

Remarry and get back to falling asleep in front of the TV every night.

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

His and Hers Wedding

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Arthur, I need my space."

Heart to heart talk.

The Wishing Well

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

Waterfall of Disappointment

"Your grandma and I have decided to live together."

Worm Bed

'What's with the Thesaurus - trying to find a clinical term for love?'

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

Monogamy