Relationship Observers Pillows

Unmanned drones.

Remarry and get back to falling asleep in front of the TV every night.

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

The Wishing Well

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

His and Hers Wedding

Heart to heart talk.

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

"Arthur, I need my space."

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

Waterfall of Disappointment

"Your grandma and I have decided to live together."

Strangers. Friends. Lovers. Spouses.

'What's with the Thesaurus - trying to find a clinical term for love?'

Worm Bed

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."