Lounge Singer Gifts

'This next one is about a man, a woman, a really, really, big-screen TV, and a mountain of credit card debt.'

"I've had a request. Nonetheless, here's another song."

Lion Choir.

Singer and Pianist.

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Showbiz Awards

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Omara Portuondo

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

A Fairytale Update

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

Red Letter Days - A declaration of love in public

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"That is an outrageous slur."

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

Cat Hecklers

Dynamite little combo