Bar Singer Gifts

"Thank you, Sir."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

Shaken not stirred

"Have you seen my dad?"

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'I grew sick of Madison Avenue,so I quit,bought the bar and never looked back.'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

'I can't find a dry martini anywhere.'

You have had enough

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

The Bar & Grill of Ordinary Men: Quiet Desperation 11 am - closing (Karaoke on Saturday)

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

Mary Margaret, the best bar Nun.

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

Ostrich Bar

Business As Usual Bar & Grill: 'How's business? 'Don't ask!'

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

Our changing neighborhood: new store openings.