Singer Gifts

'He's here to hit the high notes.'

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

"The next one is a hard-rockin', kick-ass, take-no-prisoners tune we wrote about turning sixty."

Bob Dylan gets an electric toothbrush

"I've always been a big Otis Redding fan."

Frank Zappa

"This next song's about our desperate struggle to please and chronic craving for approval. I really, really hope you like it."

"Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl..."

A bird's song is trapped in a musical stave.

Kylie Minogue.

JimmyFest 2006

"Wow, thanks. I'm a big fan. I've downloaded all your stuff."

One-man show: Only one man shows up in audience.

"Listen up, my fine people, and I'll sing you a song, 'bout a brave neurosurgeon who done something wrong."

"Okay, who's singing 'How great thou Arrrrrrrrt?"

EWE 2.

The Ethel Mormon Tabernacle Choir

The sound of mucus.

Elton John

Rick decides to save his real lyrics for when someone is actually listening.

'This next song is about setting boundaries, and how now I wish I had.'

Rod Stewart

"O.K., next time around let's ease up on the vibrato."

Chorister's Loose Teeth

'Fortunately, the Almighty is compassionate, kind, understanding, and hopefully tone deaf.'

'I'm a huge fan of yours, I've downloaded all your songs from the internet!'

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Xmas with the In-Your-Face Country Carollers"

Male Voice Choir: Tenor, Baritone and Bass

'Uh-oh, here comes the mike again. Cut the barbershop quartet and go back to mournful whistling.'

Castaways say; 'Now don't go rocking the boat Elvis.'

"I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky..."

In bed forty years ago, John & I sang 'Give Peace a Chance'. I'm still waiting.

'Cause I'm a cowboy in a steel pen I hiiiiide and I'm wanted grilled or stir-friiiiied!'

Michael Jackson.