Emotionally Expressive Songster Gifts

"I like sad songs."

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Showbiz Awards

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Lennon and McCartney.

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Omara Portuondo

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

A Fairytale Update

Anna Calvi

EWE 2.

"This next one's another oldie."

George Michael

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

Red Letter Days - A declaration of love in public

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"That is an outrageous slur."

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

Michael Jackson.

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

Michael Jackson

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

Freddie Mercury

Eric Clapton.

Cat Hecklers