Songster Extraordinaire Gifts

"New Yorkie...New Yorkie..."

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Showbiz Awards

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Lennon and McCartney.

Omara Portuondo

Anna Calvi

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

A Fairytale Update

EWE 2.

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

George Michael

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

Red Letter Days - A declaration of love in public

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"That is an outrageous slur."

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

Michael Jackson.

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

Michael Jackson

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

Freddie Mercury

Party time.

Cat Hecklers