Empathic Entertainer Gifts

Dinner at the Trapdoors

A rabbit giving another rabbit, 'rabbit ears'.

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

“What if I tell you the card you are thinking of is … the Jack of Hearts ?”

Siegfried and Roy - grand re-opening.

'Don't you ever knock?'

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

"I'm going to run away and join the circus. Not one of those big, tacky ones—something more European and intimate."

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

Tom Waits.

Ed's super-romantic but he's always a police detective. He calls our love 'consensual identity theft.'

"I don't think air guitar counts."

"Are you ready to rock within your means so as not to lose sight of what’s really important?"

"Give it up for Stevie and his musical underarms! Next up, in the house...Crazy Katrina and her jump rope of death! It's something you'll see only on...the Security Camera Network!"

Warning Wisecracks or good-natured barbs alcohol maybe hazardous to your health,

"O.K., so no animals were harmed, but were they adequately compensated?"

"I have half an hour if you want someone to get sucked into your drama."

"I DO like you. YOU don't like you."

"I'm detecting no heart at all...which explains your dislike of cute puppy videos."

'Was it an Indian elephant or an African elephant?'

"Unless you can prove their training was cruelty-free, you don't have a chance in this business."

"I'll draw them out with the cheese platter, but it's up to you to entertain them."

Mime artist - "Ok! I'll talk!"

Robert Mitchum

"I've donated blood fourteen times. . .!"

"Your former boss says you lack empathy - I'm putting you in HR."

'I had a wonderful evening and I'm really sorry Ed's still looking for a parking spot.'

"Pick any number between one and sixty seconds."

'Pepper, anyone?'

Employee Evaluation - I'm sorry, but we have stopped animal testing.