Ethical Entertainer Gifts

"O.K., so no animals were harmed, but were they adequately compensated?"

"Unless you can prove their training was cruelty-free, you don't have a chance in this business."

Employee Evaluation - I'm sorry, but we have stopped animal testing.

Ethics exam cheater.

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

'I'm dreaming of a green Christmas, with every recycled Christmas card I write...'

Bouncy Castle. Hey, you kids, get out of my house!

'Don't you ever knock?'

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

Pottery Slam

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

Clive Anderson

The Ekert Saga: 'Let's put it this way...can you imagine how the world would be if everyone actually practiced hat they preach about following the 'golden rule'?

Thanksgiving Turkey Fortune: "Why the silence?"

"Would you consider selling me the TV and movie rights to what you just told me?"

'How did you get so many kids to sign up for your geology class?'

"But if I don't know the corporate values then I'm not accountable to them."

Tom Waits.

'Nice Touch!'

Adult Magician

'An alternate theory holds that dinosaurs are extinct because they were overweight.'

Cheeky Devil and Thief LTD

"Are you ready to rock within your means so as not to lose sight of what’s really important?"

Home Video

"We outsourced our joyless TV dinners to a delightful couple from next door."

"I'm detecting no heart at all...which explains your dislike of cute puppy videos."

'Solar heat is fine, but I miss our privacy!'

A teacher with a TV for a head reads a book to their students.

'There's nothing wrong with you, but I'd still like to operate on you. There's a sweet motorcycle I'd like to buy, and I need the money.'

'You either need an antihistamine or a heart transplant -- I'll have to check your credit rating to be sure.'

"Yes, I'm vegan and no longer eat the prey animals but it's still a lot of fun to kill them!"

'On one hand, I'm ashamed to sell nothing but cheap crap. On the other hand, I'm glad I make a lot of money doing it, so I don't have to buy cheap crap...'