Eco-conscious Entertainer Gifts

Oil of Frackenstein

'I'm dreaming of a green Christmas, with every recycled Christmas card I write...'

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Where's my global warming?

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

Socially responsible kid throws rubbish in the bin.

"Hands up those in favour of deferring the firm's environmental policies for another few years."

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

Home Heating Oil

Paper Bath Towels.

Will work for manure.

'All our food is locally sourced.'

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

We've gotten all we can with traditional drilling techniques. What do you know about fracking?

The Boise Chapter of the Polar Bear Club celebrates the news that it's been given 'Endangered Species' status.

Earth-Friendly Financial Services: "Working to protect our planet by accumulating vast piles of your money."

'Gene Pool'

"O.K., so no animals were harmed, but were they adequately compensated?"

You're forcing 2,000 tulips for one girl's sweet 16 party?! Yep. Haven't they heard? The country's having really tough times. Tree's Tree Nursery. Organic. Plant food. The family is concerned. They're making sacrifices, too. Oh? They wanted 3,000. Golden parachutes all around.

Well, good luck evolving, son, and don't do anything I wouldn't do! You know, like destroy the planet or something.

Carbon-Friendly Christmas Tree

'What kind of mileage do you get?'

"There's no such thing as a vegan flytrap."

"There's a nuclear waste dump with broken barrels under your garden but you won't get cancer. I'll eat you first!"

Despite the abundance of giant corks on the frontier, zero emission vehicles never caught on in the Old West.

"Unless you can prove their training was cruelty-free, you don't have a chance in this business."

Now, this is a good garden: full of weeds! The likelyhood of somebody trying to poison us here is very low...

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.

Paper, plastic, Trumpcare

"The idea is simple. You pay us money and all your sins disappear! It's just like purchasing carbon offsets."

'If it'll make you any happier, we're biodegradable, too.'