Eco-conscious Virtuoso Gifts

Water Music/Noise Pollution.

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

"People! When you poison the last river, cut down the last tree - then you will understand that you cannot eat money."

The New Normal

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

'The environmental impact study is quite alarming, and this might just be the tip of the iceberg.'

"We've come all this way to destroy their planet only to find they're doing it themselves!!!"

Sorry, I only eat organic, fair-trade, shade-grown, biodynamic, raw dirt.

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Dept. Sustainable Energy.

"It's the new way of turning lemons into lemonade."

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

Population train.

"Our target must be close enough to seem achievable, by far enough so we're not accountable."

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

"I can remember when water was just wet."

'They're misbehaving again. What do we do this time? - flood or global warming?'

Biofuel - a solution or...?

"Environmental Protection Agency. Scott Pruitt, Administrator."

BP vows to donate revenues from the blown-out oil well to wildlife rehabilitation.

"Hands up those in favour of deferring the firm's environmental policies for another few years."

'That is some serious alternative energy.'

Earth Mover 3000: A not-so-happy God with the humans about to use an Earth Mover on Planet Earth

"The mural reminds them of their natural habitat."

If you left the window open and the light on when I was little, the room would fill with insects...

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

Home Heating Oil

"Yeah, these things smell disgusting, but if you line your nest with them, you get insulation and it helps to keep the eggs warm..."

"I'm sensing that un underlying cause of your anxiety is climate change."

'If I had to kill to survive I'd become a vegetarian.'