Lounge Lover Gifts

A man in a bathrobe looks at his computer screen which reads "Would it kill you to put on some decent clothes?".

Patient to therapist: 'How is this supposed to help me stop being a couch potato?'

"Then I thought, hey great, if I become a day trader I can work at home in my underwear."

Couch Potatoes

"Well, sometimes I'll just hang around and do nothing. Oh wait, that's all the time."

"I didn't hear Bill Clinton say it was time for me to change."

Home Working Dress Codes

"Look at that brand-new building! I hear it has a cafeteria, a lounge and valet parking! I have to go!"

"No, I don't feel guilty. I've heard the average Briton moves once every six years."

"Know what I love about you, Emma? It's your unapologetic barfly-ness."

Excess Baggage: These days airport frequent flyer lounges are even more crowded than the general boarding areas.

Getting older is . . . when you start to dress for comfort rather than style.

"Now then Mr Parker - are you relaxed?"

'Why is so much easy listening so difficult to listen to?'

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"Why are they called sweatpants if you don't sweat in them?"

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"I'm not 'just sitting here' — my mind is all over the place."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

Bryan Ferry

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"Another round of banana daiquiris for the lovely lady and I, please!"

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

Chillaxing!

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'When you're swimming at night and something gives you a bite, it's a Moray! You think it's a seal but it's really an eel, it's a Moray!'

Cattlemans Saloon.