Little League Legends Gifts

"Okay, Max, your dad is the commissioner, you're at first base. Harry, your parents donated 5 grand to fix the snack bar, you're at shortstop. . ."

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'My dad won't let me take steroids until I'm seven.'

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

'Well, Jimmy, it's your turn to go get it.'

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

'I've been transferred again.'

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

"OK...this season, I'm not taking any fooling around...we must have discipline! We must know the rules! We must respect the other team! But mostly...no yelling at the kids, or the coach!"

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

'The pain in your eyes is from too much TV. The pain in your arm is from too much base-ball and that other pain is from too much home-work.'

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

Sportsmanship

"Did you really just tell me to keep my eye on the ball?"

"This new NFL video is great! It factors in the strength of each team's offense, defense, special teams and legal teams."

Born to play ball.

'A good, but not a grand slam!'

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

"Tyler lost interest in baseball once he tried old-time boxing."

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."

'She's a good coach, and the kids seem to like her. But I still think someone should at least run a background check.'

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

'Sorry, coach, but all of the bases are loaded.'