Little League Legend Gifts

"Did you really just tell me to keep my eye on the ball?"

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

'Good luck, kid. I trained at age 3, was traded twice by age 5 and I peaked at 7.'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"When I grow up, I want to have a ballpark named after the company I own."

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

'Sorry, coach, but all of the bases are loaded.'

'Are you the person I see about getting a sign-up bonus and a salary?'

"This kid soccer league is getting pretty serious."

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"Sorry, kid... honesty is now the policy."

"Tyler lost interest in baseball once he tried old-time boxing."

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

"I don't see much borrowing on your credit report but I do see a lot of begging and stealing."

'Well, Jimmy, it's your turn to go get it.'

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

'I've been transferred again.'

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

'The pain in your eyes is from too much TV. The pain in your arm is from too much base-ball and that other pain is from too much home-work.'

"OK...this season, I'm not taking any fooling around...we must have discipline! We must know the rules! We must respect the other team! But mostly...no yelling at the kids, or the coach!"

Sportsmanship

"This new NFL video is great! It factors in the strength of each team's offense, defense, special teams and legal teams."

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

'A good, but not a grand slam!'

Born to play ball.

'What do you mean you've done more for me than my mother did?'

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."