Fantasy League Legend Gifts

"This new NFL video is great! It factors in the strength of each team's offense, defense, special teams and legal teams."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Pete Sampras

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

Baseball Fantasy League Draft. 27 Trout. Everybody wants that rare player who can do it all on their team. Yeah, a player that hits for average and hits for power! Who is also terrific with a glove and has a strong throwing arm. All along with having great speed! Excuse me, I just don't understand it. Why are you always making such a big deal over a five-tool player?!

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

Gareth Bale

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

Knight

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

'We're in a fantasy team owners' league, we locked out our players and came here to yuck it up.'

"I don't see much borrowing on your credit report but I do see a lot of begging and stealing."

'The stuff legends are made of'

It's unlikely the "Deadly Sins" team from Hades University will go far in the basketball tourney. Wrath is suspended for arguing with the refs and sloth always skips practice. Pride puts too much pressure on himself and greed won't risk an injury that would blow his chances for a pro contract. Lust is distracted by the cheerleaders and Envy wants the shots all the other players are getting. Gluttony is the only player thriving in the tournament spotlight. Yeah, he just eats up all the atten

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"You've still got it Joao."

'I've been transferred again.'

"Did you really just tell me to keep my eye on the ball?"

"See - it works in my fantasy research league."

'What do you mean you've done more for me than my mother did?'

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

'With my knowledge of math and science, maybe I could help establish world pece or end world hunger. Or even win my fantasy football league.'

"Tyler lost interest in baseball once he tried old-time boxing."

A pitcher is stranded on the mound.

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

'The sports seasons never end, now with all his fantasy leagues.'

Hi! Frank and Ernie, here, with the clock running down on another Superbowl! It's been a wild affair! I'll say! The seals and penguins kept starting the wave! And the zebras were throwing flags all over the place!...The Kangaroo kept jumping offsides and the octopus was called for holding. Eight times! And all on the same play! But no question the game's MVP is the electric eel...thirty-two carries and nobody touched him once! It was shocking!

Fantasy Football Betting Pool

"Okay, Max, your dad is the commissioner, you're at first base. Harry, your parents donated 5 grand to fix the snack bar, you're at shortstop. . ."