Fantasy League Player Gifts

'With my knowledge of math and science, maybe I could help establish world pece or end world hunger. Or even win my fantasy football league.'

"But in my fantasy business league I'm making millions."

Baseball Fantasy League Draft. 27 Trout. Everybody wants that rare player who can do it all on their team. Yeah, a player that hits for average and hits for power! Who is also terrific with a glove and has a strong throwing arm. All along with having great speed! Excuse me, I just don't understand it. Why are you always making such a big deal over a five-tool player?!

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

Deregulated Baseball

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

'We're in a fantasy team owners' league, we locked out our players and came here to yuck it up.'

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

'Dad, did the stork bring me or did you get me in fantasy draft?'

It's unlikely the "Deadly Sins" team from Hades University will go far in the basketball tourney. Wrath is suspended for arguing with the refs and sloth always skips practice. Pride puts too much pressure on himself and greed won't risk an injury that would blow his chances for a pro contract. Lust is distracted by the cheerleaders and Envy wants the shots all the other players are getting. Gluttony is the only player thriving in the tournament spotlight. Yeah, he just eats up all the atten

Sports Bar. Do you even do any fantasy sports? Only when I'm making a bet on my favorite team.

I used my first draft pick on the turkey leg. It's a proven point-getter! I drafted potatoes. They're not flashy but they are a reliable performer! I'll trade my cranberry sauce for you pie. It's a win-win trade that will benefit us both! No trades -- This pie will score a lot of points for me later! Why are they talking about this wonderful meal like it's fantasy football? It's not a game with winners and losers here. You're absolutely right! Just being here together sharing this meal,

Stats. Fantasy League. The difference between men and boys is men draft their imaginary friends onto fantasy sports teams.

"He left behind a wife, three kids, and the number one rated fantasy football quarterback."

We've had two weeks between the conference finals and the big game. With time for injuries to heal, we're physically ready for a peak performance. We watched hour after hour of video. Then spent long days on the practice field so we'll function as a team and not a collection of individuals. And once we finally finish preparing for the touchdown celebrations, we might have an or two to practice football.

"See - it works in my fantasy research league."

"This new NFL video is great! It factors in the strength of each team's offense, defense, special teams and legal teams."

'My wife wanted me to get more active in sports, so I signed up or TWO fantasy football leagues.'

'There was a time when I considered making myself available for the NBA draft. But one day I realized, hey - I'm a slug! I don't have an athletic bone in my body!'

Fantasy Football League training Camp.

'The sports seasons never end, now with all his fantasy leagues.'

Midnight in Minnesota

A pitcher is stranded on the mound.

"Whoa! Now Philly has the bases loaded with one out!..."

'IN my fantasy league, we're not allowed to pick players from teams named after cats.'

Fantasy Football Awards: 'The trophy to the Monday morning quarterback with the widest end zone...'

Hi! Frank and Ernie, here, with the clock running down on another Superbowl! It's been a wild affair! I'll say! The seals and penguins kept starting the wave! And the zebras were throwing flags all over the place!...The Kangaroo kept jumping offsides and the octopus was called for holding. Eight times! And all on the same play! But no question the game's MVP is the electric eel...thirty-two carries and nobody touched him once! It was shocking!

'From now on, if the ball goes anywhere near that thing, it's a ground-rule double.'

Dragon brought on as substitute

"Gretzky shoots from three-point land for the extra point..." "Idiot"

Fantasy Football Betting Pool

'In my fantasy retirement league, I'm having a great time.'

"Yeah, but I had Goliath on my fantasy league team."

"The talking stone wall of New England." "Tommy’s days are numbered—he’s seventy in quarterback years!" "You’re nuts! Look at the numbers, they don’t lie."