Little League Lover Gifts

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

"You have to at least try, Timmy. Your father built you a participation trophy case."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

I watched an erotic thriller last night. Have you heard of the film 'Field of Dreams'?

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

All Star Team.

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

Baseball Dreams

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

"Oh, it's a grand day for Harvard!"

Waiting for the end of the acid-rain delay at the ballpark in the year 2258...

A Cat about to smash into a Goldfish Aquarium for a meal.

Adding people with a background in music has made the team better. The new hitting coach is just like clarinet player Benny Goodman. Benny Goodman was "The King of Swing"! Nobody is better with that instrument than this guy. That's why he's playing first bass! The rock star with bat cleanup for the team. He'll have some big hits this year! And the opera singer will be the new ace on the mound. Thanks to the perfect pitch!

Arcade Game Baseball.

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

As smart as he was, Albert Einstein could not figure out how to handle those tricky bounces at third base.

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

'A three means I want to break for a hot dog.'

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

Mr Met

'We're doing everything we can to police ourselves on steroids.'