Little League Lover Gifts

"You have to at least try, Timmy. Your father built you a participation trophy case."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

Baseball Dreams

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

A Cat about to smash into a Goldfish Aquarium for a meal.

Waiting for the end of the acid-rain delay at the ballpark in the year 2258...

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

"Oh, it's a grand day for Harvard!"

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

Arcade Game Baseball.

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

'A three means I want to break for a hot dog.'

'The pain in your eyes is from too much TV. The pain in your arm is from too much base-ball and that other pain is from too much home-work.'

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

Pitching problems.

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."