Little League Enthusiast Gifts

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

Sportsmanship

'These are my rookie cards.'

'We're doing everything we can to police ourselves on steroids.'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

Vendor selling testosterone.

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

I watched an erotic thriller last night. Have you heard of the film 'Field of Dreams'?

All Star Team.

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

Adding people with a background in music has made the team better. The new hitting coach is just like clarinet player Benny Goodman. Benny Goodman was "The King of Swing"! Nobody is better with that instrument than this guy. That's why he's playing first bass! The rock star with bat cleanup for the team. He'll have some big hits this year! And the opera singer will be the new ace on the mound. Thanks to the perfect pitch!

Ahhh, spring baseball.

Waiting for the end of the acid-rain delay at the ballpark in the year 2258...

A Cat about to smash into a Goldfish Aquarium for a meal.

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

Arcade Game Baseball.

As smart as he was, Albert Einstein could not figure out how to handle those tricky bounces at third base.

Pitching problems.

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

Mr Met

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."