Little League Enthusiast Pillows

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

Sportsmanship

'These are my rookie cards.'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

Vendor selling testosterone.

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

Ahhh, spring baseball.

Waiting for the end of the acid-rain delay at the ballpark in the year 2258...

A Cat about to smash into a Goldfish Aquarium for a meal.

Arcade Game Baseball.

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

'The pain in your eyes is from too much TV. The pain in your arm is from too much base-ball and that other pain is from too much home-work.'

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

'A three means I want to break for a hot dog.'

"OK...this season, I'm not taking any fooling around...we must have discipline! We must know the rules! We must respect the other team! But mostly...no yelling at the kids, or the coach!"

Pitching problems.